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by Anthony Incampo

To me, it all began innocently enough with MTV’s The Real World. You know the show. They put a bunch of strangers in a house in Manhattan and taped their every move for us to watch " Seven strangers, picked to live together and have their lives videotaped…..(You know the rest). This was reality, right? They had no jobs. They had no money. But they had the best loft any Manhattanite could ask for (for like $10,000 a month in rent). It was ridiculous – but we watched. Year after year. Spoiled brat after spoiled brat. City after city – we watched. New York, San Fran, LA, Chicago, New Orleans – they even did a Real World in London!!! They lived. We watched. Why? I am not too sure. Maybe because television was just so bad and the writers couldn’t come up with any original ideas. Well whatever the reason, the ratings went through the roof. Well, executives noticed and ran with it. MTV then whipped up the Road Rules (The traveling version of Real World). It seemed like MTV had cornered the market on reality shows. But not for long!!!

Actually, the first reality shows were from the Fox people, which were real life stuff like "America’s Most Wanted" and "Cops." Then folks wanted more, so we got VH-1’s Behind the Music (The Motley Crue episode rocked) and E!’ True Hollywood Story ( Dana Plato ….yum yum). Those types of shows are fine. They give us a little background on our favorite sitcom stars or musicians. Nothing wrong with that. But wait, there were more to come!!!

The brains over at CBS needed something to give the network a ratings boost and they found the golden ticket. Together with producer Mark Burnett, they created the show that would change Reality TV as we knew it. Survivor bought together contestants from all over the country, all types of people, all ages and backgrounds. They dropped them off on a little island with little food and little supplies. Suprisingly, nobody died or even got hurt (except the dumbass Michael in the Australian outback, who passed out and fell into the fire…DUH!). But as ridiculous as it was, I was hooked. The show got better and better and the show got so big that it had NBC contemplating moving the # 1 sitcom, Friends, to a different night, so it didn’t have to compete against Survivor. They eventually kept Friends where it was, but did lose in the ratings.

Having the newest hit on their hands, CBS went nuts. They came up with a new show idea – Big Brother. Instead of being stranded on an island, these contestants were "stranded" in a house on the studio lot. Woo, how did they survive? People did watch, so CBS came back with Big Brother2, Big Brother 3 and so on. Enough already, right? Wrong.

Before you knew it, there were reality shows all over the tube. Shows like Temptation Island (2 season so far), The Mole (stupid), Blind Date, Fear Factor, The Great Race and the newest of them, American Idol.
Idol was a Star Search for the millennium. Its contestants would sing for the audience and the television viewers, who would vote the weakest one off. It created quite a buzz, so I reluctantly tuned in. The performances were pretty entertaining, but it was the in studio "judges" who stole the show. Paula Abdul ( yes, her) led the charge and never had a bad word for any of the Idols. She was joined by the token fat black guy, (Randy Jackson) and the mean English guy (Simon). So after the kids would sing, they had to get dressed down by Simon, and praised by the other 2. But this is where this show went wrong. The contestants then would go over and interview with the show's co-hosts, who I like to call Dumb and Dumber. Ryan Seacrest and Brian Dunkelman are two of the dorkiest people on TV. I think they must have really rich Dads or something. They sit on stage and banter back and forth. Here is a typical exchange between these two brain surgeons. " Hey, Brian, your hair looks great, did you use mousse?" "Yeah, Ryan, chocolate mousse…Har har har!!" These jerks should be removed before American Idol 2 begins!

I did not mind reality TV, but some of this stuff is horrible. Now instead of plain old strangers being taped for TV, executives thought maybe the fad was starting fizzle, so they had to come up with a twist. "Hey, lets put cameras in the house of an aging rock star and let’s see what we can get". The aging rocker turned out to be Ozzy Osbourne. Since I love Ozzy, I was hooked. His crazy family was a hilarious to watch, although MTV had more BLEEPS than an old ATARI game (ok, that was weak, but I am tired and on a deadline, so deal). The Osbournes have been so successful, that the E! Channel came up with their own version, starring America’s favorite sweetheart, Anna Nicole Smith. This chick is damaged goods. The show makes you feel sorry for the girl because she seems to be a loser who loves her "meds". Who is next? Janet Reno 24/7??? I can’t wait.

So I ask the American television viewing public, why, with all the stuff going on in our country, do we feel the need to watch these reality shows? Is it the voyeur in all of us? Do we just like to see what quasi – celebrities do when their dogs shits the rug? Or do we dream that it could be us on that island or us eating live crickets for some cold hard cash? Can one of be the next Richard Hatch (forgot him already, didn’t you) or the next Kelly Clarkston ??? How these shows succeed is beyond me, and I cannot explain this television phenomenon. But I gotta run and watch the premiere of Survivor: Thailand (insert Survivor native call)