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THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLYBy Faith Carman-Rogers |
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Well, it's hot kids & there are a lot of fashion crimes being committed out there. There seems to be a lot of ill-fitting clothing seen in our not-so-fair-city. New York City kind-of-heat is like a drug that causes some to hallucinate & think they can wear anything. Surely- one time or another- we've all worn something regrettable. That's why our high school yearbooks are safely tucked away. Remember that song back in the 90's called "Baby Got Back"? Well now, baby has "back-fat"! |
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What about us middle-of-the-road non-prepubescent gals that want to strut our stuff in a regular-cut trouser. |
As I asked in my 1st column, will trousers be cut so low that dyed & maintained pubes are on view & are the new erogenous zone? So begins my pants rants about these low-rise, low-slung, low-cut, lowrider, hipster--whatever you want to call them- pants. They are NOT for everyone! What about us middle-of-the-road non-prepubescent gals that want to strut our stuff in a regular-cut trouser. We're out of luck! Not all of our waistlines are nestled at our "mons pubis". I know I'm not alone! One 30-ish co-worker who has an average figure (not too fat & not too thin) recently complained about the lack of normal-cut pants. She looked high & low all over town. Final stop- Macy's madhouse. She was truly discouraged by this point. There were only two possibilities she tried on. Upon looking at the cut in the mirror, she recounted: "Faith, I could clearly see the outline of my pussy lips!" Moose knuckle, anyone?! (or is it camel toe?) |
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Granted when the right person is wearing them, they can look flat-out stylish & kick-ass. But when it's wrong, you KNOW it's wrong! Some things to consider: AGE APPROPRIATE & WEIGHT APPROPRIATE. Sometimes Moms, you just can't wear what your daughter's wearing. And if you have a belly like a construction worker, perhaps these are NOT for you! [Howard Stern's word for this kind of belly is a "gunt"- no explanation necessary] Another important point to consider is when the waistline drops, the upper torso is lengthened. Therefore, the legs are shortened. So you must have a good proportion of height as well as weight. A good test for ALL of us is to sit down in front of the fitting room mirror. Watching yourself, see what happens in the mirror--front, sides & back! *Props to some decent trousers... For petites, some good cuts are Theory, Philippe Adec/Equipment, Katayone Adeli, Joseph, Chaiken... For bigger gals, Marina Rinaldi, B*B at H & M, Venezia, Saks & Nordstrom's Private Label. |
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Much like the colorful 80's, there's a print explosion happening this summer. (I hope it continues to be important & successful or else I lose my day job). Everywhere you look there are patterns a-plenty: from Marimekko to ditsy Liberty florals to Lilly Pulitzer. You can see many prints on dresses, skirts, purses, tote bags, etc. Marimekko is a Finnish company that has a very colorful 60's vibe. There are Marimekko influences seen in home furnishings, as well as, apparel. The last few years have seen a renewed interest in this overlooked company. (New York City has a shop on Madison Avenue.) If you are timid when it comes to wearing bright large prints, you can add just one piece, such as a scarf or bag. Some other popular print looks I'm seeing are: true vintage patterns, mucho stripes, on guys- retro tropicals (very 1940's & 80's) & "ditsy Liberty" florals. [For the ditz-y, a "ditsy/Liberty is a very small scale finely-printed floral--think Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie.] Lilly Pulitzer is a classic company that was very popular in the 1960's & 1970's with the wealthy Palm Beach-set. Well, Mumsy is not the only one sporting this pattern. The patterns tend to be very whimsical florals & "conversationals"(FYI: In prints, kids, this means motifs that are objects. Such as scenics, fruits, cars, etc.) |
Let's hear it for the all-American tee in its many incarnations: from a package of Hanes to haute couture Dior. |
[Cute D.I.Y./Do It Yourself Idea Seen at Urban Outfitters: a scarf top made from one scarf. A vintage one looks more interesting, such as a "Vera" brand scarf. With a finished-off opening in the center & each point centered from your shoulders, you can have an easy lightweight printed summer gypsy blouse. Most of you will need a tank top underneath. An optional way to wear it with more courage is to do a few stitches under each arm to pull it modestly together.] Let's hear it for the all-American tee in its many incarnations: from a package of Hanes to haute couture Dior. Certain tee looks were popular this summer. For example: petal/flutter sleeves (great to hide flabby upper arms), "belly shirts"(cropped & you can't hide ANYTHING) & "shirring" details (gathered with stitches or elastic). |
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Of course, the classic plain tee with or without slogans is the most popular for both sexes. Some of my personal fave slogans: "Spear Britney", "Saturday Night Beaver"(done in the exact graphics of the movie title), "Silicone- Free"(emblazoned across the bosom of an all-natural gal), French Connection's "FCUK" logo, various Paul-Franks(who the HELL is THAT monkey??), & side show- illustrated "Freaks" tees (ex: pinheads with slogans "Freak? No, Unique!" & "Rethink Beauty") |
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Some tee joints to check out... Stay tuned for...more fashion crimes, the HOTs OR NOTs...Also, I'll get yappy about the happy return of "nap-py" fabrics! FAITH |