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I thought dating in New York City would be the craziest time in my life. I mean, there definitely was a point when things were wild and I was going out 6 nights a week (Sundays are always reserved for Sex and the City of course). When you go out THAT much and you are single, inevitably things begin to get a little nuts. Too much drinking, too many men (or women), too many hangovers...too much fun!! But just like everything else in life, there are times when things slow down and not everything goes as planned. My friends and I vowed to be single forever (when we thought 30 was really old...) and that we would never let our dating escapades come to a halt. Why would we? Why would we want that freedom to vanish? What on Earth could possibly make us settle down? Well, if you figure that I was meeting about 2-3 different guys each week, one was bound to stick around a little longer than the next (in other words, one was able to deal with the pain in the ass that I am). One was bound to steal my heart. I had no intention of meeting someone and falling in love. I had no intention of eventually moving in with this person and falling deeper in love. And I sure as hell had no intention of packing up my life in NYC and moving to Hawaii with this person. That's right people, I am leaving NYC...for now. I never thought that sentence would EVER come out of my mouth: "I am leaving NYC", but it did, sooner than I had planned. I also fell in love sooner than I had planned, and I realize that sometimes you just can't plan your life -- and you definitely can't stop certain things from happening. The best way to live your life to the fullest is to not plan everything -- you can't make a chart and plan accordingly because that is the way that your life will pass you by. At first, I was not going to go to Hawaii with Ryan -- I thought that was the most absurd idea on the planet, but then I realized that THIS is the time to live life and see what happens next. So, I quit my job (which is part of the thrill of it all!) and I booked a one-way ticket to Hawaii. I used to think that living by the rules was the only sensible way to live, and it is, if you want to be sensible about anything and everything. On the other hand, there is a little thing called spontaneity, and I realized that I want to learn about what the word really means (and not by studying it in Webster's). I definitely did live up my singlehood days when I had the chance -- those are some of my best memories of New York, but now I am ready to have an adventure in Hawaii and live in paradise for a little bit. Moving to Hawaii is a big commitment, in more ways that one, and at 23 I didn't know if I was ready to give it all up, but then I thought about that other thing called regret -- and I know that I would much rather be spontaneous than regretful! Of course I could not have left NYC without a proper goodbye, so this past Saturday we had an "Everybody Gets Lei'd Luau" at Bauhaus. Ryan and I did not hold back on the invite list, we figured we might as well do it right or not do it at all, so we invited everyone from close friends to co-workers to the dreaded ex-lovers category. Interesting crowd, to say the least. I had a few of my past men show up to say goodbye and Ryan had a few women stop by in passing as well. I think the old lovers are actually the ones who are the most scared by all of this -- sort of like a reality check in a sick and twisted kind of way. Sorry for you guys that I have no juicy gossip to report -- no brawls, no catfights. Nothing was awkward or weird. Truth be told, it is pretty simple. All those people are in our past and that's that: THE PAST. This goodbye party was more than a temporary goodbye to our close friends; it was also a good chance for us to say goodbye to the past love lives that we both experienced. Everyone has a past, some just choose not to let it go as easily as others (and some lovers are unable to accept that everyone has a past). Ryan and I know that any normal human being has a past life, a past LOVE life that is. With that, we are now ready to go ahead with our future endeavors and adventures together. This doesn't mean we erase all our memories because that is just ridiculous; it just means that we know that those times in our life are over and being with one person that you love isn't the wrong decision - whether we were ready for it or not. Partying in NYC, dating in NYC, being crazy in NYC -- all of it was definitely an adventure, but I am sure it won't even come close to the amazing experience that I have ahead of me. So to all my loyal readers thank you for following "A Date in the Life of Jamie" for the past year. I have enjoyed writing this column so much and I hope that you have enjoyed reading it. My Sugarzine days are not over -- just my dating column. So stay tuned for my writings from afar! |